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Summer seems to finally be here in Interior Alaska, so now is the time to take advantage of those long hours of daylight. That is, until June 21 when we start losing light, and we are plunged back into a dark and frozen hell before we even realize it, so let’s enjoy it while we can.

YOUTH SUMMER CAMPS

There’s nothing wrong with taking your child to a summer camp where the head counselor is wearing a hockey mask, providing, of course, that the camp is a hockey camp.

“Mattress Ranch” is a great name for a store that sells beds but a lousy name for a summer camp.

Another bad name for a summer camp: Boatel Sleazy Waterfront Bar Tots and Toddlers Summer Dance Camp.

If your child is attending an overnight camp for the first time, convert their bedroom into a sewing room before they come back. It’s never too early to pound the message into their head that they are not going to be living in your house forever.

OUT-OF-TOWN VISITORS

Golden Days is a good time to have your in-laws in town so you can have the fun of putting them in jail. Not the Golden Days jail, but the actual jail. Slip a vial of some crack in their pocket and sic the authorities on them. They might be upset at first, but eventually they will appreciate your attempt to help them see a side of Fairbanks that they normally wouldn’t see.

If your visitors plead you to take them on a riverboat cruise, save some money by renting a canoe and telling them it is a riverboat cruise. When they say that the canoe looks nothing like the riverboat they saw in the brochure, lecture them on the wonders of Photoshop. Important note: You will want to time your canoe trip so you don’t run into an actual riverboat.

A fish filet sandwich from McDonald’s might not satisfy their craving for fresh Alaska seafood, but it is worth a shot.

TRAVEL

Let’s face it. You cannot travel anywhere this summer because of the high gas prices. Stay as close to town as you can. With enough enthusiasm, you should be able to get the whole family pumped up for a quarter-day road trip to South Cushman. “South Cushman or bust! South Cushman or bust! South Cushman or bust!”

Have an “Into the Wild” excursion with the family by watching the movie and then planning a trip to the bus. Not the bus Chris McCandless went to, but one of the borough buses. Enhance the experience by refusing to feed anyone for days.

WILDLIFE

If you have any friends who are nature lovers that say stupid things like “Mosquitoes are our friends!” no one is going to blink an eye if you punch them in the face.

Given the absence of bleu cheese dressing and ground pepper, most moose would disagree with the notion humans have that vegetable gardens are nothing more than salad bars to moose.

Bear bells are a great way to see if a bear has any interest in show tunes before it kills you.

AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

You are probably wondering why my column is on this topic rather than my contest that I announced two weeks ago, with a goal of compiling at least 200 comments on the News-Miner Web site. That’s because the contest isn’t over yet. As of Friday morning we were somewhere around the 170 mark, and I sense it is losing steam with readers.

But I have hope. And faith.

I’m still aiming for the 200 mark and the goal of providing some lucky commenter with a check. A lot of people have asked what the amount of the check is. Let’s just say that it is enough for a full tank of gas for an average-sized vehicle, providing that your average-sized vehicle is a riding lawn mower.

I am even willing to bend the rules and allow people to post more than five times if they so wish.

You can read the column and post to it on the News-Miner Web site by going to the Features tab on the top, selecting Sundays and then scrolling down to my column.

Let’s keep the momentum going on this.