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Most years, between Easter and Pentecost, I have thought about how the disciples must have felt as they realized Jesus had risen and was alive. As wonderful, awe-inspiring and exciting as that must have been for them, this year, I had a different experience. This year, I rose with Jesus.

I sometimes suffer depression. Last fall, a variety of situations, including the death of a friend and the end of a relationship, contributed to my experiencing one of the most severe depressions I have had.  It lasted for months. In many ways, it was like being in the tomb. It was as if I were trapped in a small, dark, airless space, shrouded tight, alone and hopeless.

By “hopeless” I mean that I was unable to feel any of my normally strong sense of connection to loved ones, friends or the community around me ... or to God. I seemed surrounded by thick rock walls, so thick that even God’s presence could not reach through to me.

But then I rose again. The love and assistance of my family, friends, co-workers and faith community reminded me that I was still connected, whether I could feel it at the moment or not. (Even care-givers sometimes need care!)

Through a good relationship with my physician, and the gift of appropriate medical intervention, the physical aspects of the depression began to slowly go away. As that stone rolled open, inch by inch, I could breathe and see again.

I started attending counseling sessions because I want to learn to change the habits and ingrained reactions to stress and difficult situations which occasionally lead me back into the spiral of depression.

And wow! This Easter, I could imagine how extraordinary it must have felt for Jesus to leave his tomb. He experienced freedom from the constricting shroud which had been wound around his body. The air outside the tomb was fresh and moist as a garden in springtime. There was light, gloriously bright and warm on the skin. It was heaven after that eternity of darkness and separation.

And joy. Joy! Joy in being alive, in being connected. On that first Easter morning, Jesus didn’t just rise and go to heaven. He renewed his connections with his loved ones. He met them, ate with them, and shared his experience that they might believe.  As I have “come back to life” during the last few months, I have tried to follow that example. Today I feel alive and overflowing with joy. I feel connected with you all, whether we have ever met or not.

And though this incredible sense of aliveness will undoubtedly ebb into the calmness of everyday life, right now, this Easter joy is welling up within me. I am honored and blessed to be able to share that with you, my family and community.

Insight is sponsored by the Tanana Valley Christian Conference.

Shanna Karella is director of the Stephen Ministry Outreach of the Catholic Diocese of Fairbanks.